Good practice
Some practical guidelines to help with recovery.
Dear reader,
I messed up this week. I came downstairs one morning to find our daughter having a grapefruit for breakfast. I told her that wasn’t an adequate breakfast. Suffice to say it didn’t land well or have a positive impact.
Perhaps like me, you know a lot of stuff and yet can still get it wrong sometimes. Let me run through some good practice, so I can remind myself as well as you.
The guidelines below depend on the age of the person you are supporting and the stage of recovery they are in. Always remember that you are the expert on your family dynamic.
What is to be eaten at any meal needs to be planned (and if appropriate agreed on) in advance. Away from the table both physically and time-wise.
Keep children or early recovery people out of the kitchen.
Don’t expect someone with an eating disorder (ED) to be rational or have a good understanding of what is appropriate to eat.
Attempt to make mealtimes calm experiences. Music, lighting, and your own mood all have an impact.
Expect it to go well. Be reassuring but firm.
Extreme unpleasant behaviour is not about you and it is not them: it is the ED.
Stay calm.
Keep going.
Be consistent.
Get support.
Look after yourself so you can feel resourced to keep at this.
Forgive yourself when it doesn’t go to plan.
Sometimes, this can feel like two steps forward and one step back. I invite you to not do this alone. You are in a marathon, not a sprint, and you are likely to need sustenance on route.
On the programmes I run, I share skills and practises, but I also support you to do what works for your family. I use a coaching approach so that you feel resourced to keep going, and can stay calm when you need to. This means that the person you care about will be supported to recover.
If you would like a chat about taking part in my next programme, please do get in touch.
Sending big hugs,
Ruth x